All the legislation in the world will not abolish kissing

Quite why eludes him, but Malcolm's plimsoll line of decadence is marked by a minor writer from a century ago, whose work he has never read (but who provided the quotation for the headline above):

Would you like to sin
With Elinor Glyn
On a tiger skin?
Or would you prefer
To err
With her
On some other fur?

Oh dear, Malcolm!

Another of Malcolm's paranoias is a distaste for those self-serving "surveys". Anyone seeking the dodgiest of statistics (or, rather, pseudo-stats and factoids) need look no further.

Such PR jobs repeatedly "prove" something like the life-enhancing virtues of snake-oil, and how its consumption magnifies one's attractiveness to the opposite sex. The small print shows the finding is based on a random survey in single figures, and is sponsored by the Snake Oil Consortium.

Malcolm's semi-conscious state brooded on these notions when he read that even the Vatican is at the snake-oil game, apparently marking score cards at the Confessional:

Women are prouder than men, but men are more lustful, according to a Vatican report which states that the two sexes sin differently.

A Catholic survey found that the most common sin for women was pride, while for men, the urge for food was only surpassed by the urge for sex.

That story, in various treatments, provided jollies for many journos and sub-editors. Not, of course, that the Vatican could be in need of some light relief, especially after the "Bishop" Richard Williamson debacle.

The Vatican helpfully updates the seven deadly sins to modern society:

The revised list included seven modern sins it said were becoming prevalent during an era of "unstoppable globalisation".

These included: genetic modification, experiments on the person, environmental pollution, taking or selling illegal drugs, social injustice, causing poverty and financial greed.

Well, perhaps there's some sense in that. Yet, it is a very selective list.

It omits at least seven more:

• Wilful subversion of scientific study of gene therapies;
• Misrepresentation of contraception;
• The malevolence of "pro-life" campaigns;*
• Wholesale gynophobia (compare Article 41.2.1 of de Valera's Constitution of 1937);*
• Condoning child molestation by the priesthood;*
• Denying healthcare in the name of "Faith and Morals";*
• Denying basic civil rights to minority denominations.*

The perceptive will have realised...

those items marked with the asterisk have particular relevance to Ireland.

For light relief, cue Tom:



Malcolm finds it all reminiscent, too, of Moses coming down from the mountain (curiously, a mountain with a dual personality: Sinai and/or Horeb):

"Well, there's good news and there's bad news.

The good news is we've got Him down to ten.

The bad news is that adultery is still in at number seven."

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